I started making a list of New Years resolutions, the usual, get back to race weight, train like a maniac for Roth, find a new job etc etc etc. Then I realized they all come down to one thing, being fucking happy. None of it matters if I spend another year being miserable, so I’m just gonna keep doing the things I love, that make me happy, with people who inspire or lift me up and fuck the rest of it. At the end of the day what does any of it matter if none of it resulted in making me happy? There is gonna be a lot of “fuck it” in 2017 because I’ve lived nearly 35 years being cautious and calculated and risk averse and the best things that have happened to me in recent times have been when impulse took over and I just stopped thinking about shit. So there, no whinging about things I do have the power to change, no waiting for things to happen for me enough planning every detail of every aspect of my life. Let shit happen, find shit to make happen, and take a fucking chance, what is the worst that could happen? #selfpeptalk #newyearsresolutions #fuckit
Ah Beau Taplin, your words are always so, yes, and always at the right time.
I’ve been feeling stuck, and stagnant and all things uninspired for far too long now. I’m in the rut that we are almost always destined for which is finding the balance of what I love to do and what pays the bills.
The job/career, the well paying stability of it all is just so appealing, until it’s not. In this world of social media my FOMO is heightened. I see beautiful destinations and sandy beaches, and cultural colors and exotic foods and I want that. Who doesn’t want that?
I’ve hit the wall however. Where just a touch and a taste will no longer suffice. A holiday only to return to the rut to wish away the days till next time is no longer satisfying.
This soul is trapped and craving stimulation.
I no longer fit the 9-5 uniformity of it all. I see friends describe themselves as gypsies and I long to be on the next plane to nowhere in particular.
I know social media world isn’t always real world. I know people put theirbest versions at the forefront in an attempt to hide what is real but what if there is more real out there than this.
I don’t know where I want to be, I don’t know the path to get me there. But I do know that where I am isn’t the right fit anymore.
And I know I have two options, sit around and complain waiting for someone to hand me the golden ticket to happiness, or take a leap and look outside my current situation for what I love and what makes me happy.
Who am I and what is Crooked Little Arrow?
Well I am a single 30 something who is slightly disillusioned, feeling stagnant and stuck and attempting to change some situations I’m not particularly stoked to be in.
As for Crooked Little Arrow, this is my outlet to try and change said situations.
A few months ago I made a decision that I could stay in a job I disliked because it’s safe and secure and affords me some of life’s pleasures, or I could see what other options I could create for myself and perhaps see if there was a happy medium out there to satisfy my need to pay the mortgage and my desire to float off on a whim should that be the way the wind blows me on any given day.
It’s early days, I’m not sure what I’m doing and I’m not sure what the answer is to my conundrum. I know there is no easy fix which is why I want to explore the options and opportunities that both come my way and that I create myself.
This isn’t going to be a “I quit my job and make $100,000 a year while I holiday” blog. I don’t intend it to be a, I did this and you can too, either. This isn’t about quick fixes and making money persay, although changing where my income comes from is part of my end goal. I want this blog to record my successes and my failures and real experiences of me.
The goal of all of this? Do something I love, I’m passionate about, pay the bills I need to pay and live the way I want to.